Jacob & Leanne

It was so special going to the same school with our sweet cousins for 12+ years and living so close. Growing up, my sister Emily and I absolutely loved going over to the Carter house. They are so funny and the most hospitable (which Jacob inherited in spades). We always felt welcome. One of our most hilarious memories was when Jacob, Isaac, Emily, and I would dance and perform in Jacob and Isaac’s room with the lights off, strobe light and fog machine at full blast, listening to Enya, jumping “into the abyss” off of the top bunk bed. It’s a wonder no one got injured. In high school, I got to do One Act Play (“Why Do We Laugh”) with Jacob which was so much fun. Jacob played the character of Andrew in his elderly years and he nailed it, of course. I’m so glad he continued performing in college in his improv troupe. 

The memories that have been replaying most in my mind are those of his wedding, the last time I saw Jacob. It was my first glimpse of the community that he and Daniel had built in Tacoma, and it made me so happy to see how vibrant and full his life was, living with authenticity and true to himself. Seeing how much love they had for their friends and vice versa was so touching. Hearing stories of their elaborate dinner parties and always going above and beyond to make people feel accepted and included was inspiring and moving. At their own wedding, Jacob and Daniel served soup to their guests in bowls they had thrown themselves, evidence of their desire to serve others. I smile every time I see the bowl. It was also an absolutely gorgeous wedding and another example of Jacob’s talent for creating beauty. 

I’m sad that after high school, life took us all separate ways and we only saw Jacob at family gatherings and weddings. But I hope he knew that he was celebrated from afar by those who loved him. I bragged to my friends about my super cool cousin who was selling out of his bagels at farmers’ markets, when he was featured in Eater Seattle, and when he finally opened his shop to lines down the street every day. When we did get to see Jacob, he made it feel as if no time had passed and brought a smile to our faces with his warmth and humor. When he first saw us at his wedding, he came over and gave us the biggest hug and we all cried together. I’ll never forget that. 

Since his death, it’s been beautiful to read all of the stories of the impact that Jacob had on every single person he met. Even the briefest of interactions with him left people in a good mood. I pray we all learn from Jacob and the kind, thoughtful, adventurous, inclusive, loving, goofy, joyful, creative, passionate, selfless, and generous way that he lived his life. Honestly the adjectives to describe Jacob are endless. He was an extraordinary human, now dancing in heaven.

I love you so much Jacob - thank you for everything you gave to the world.