Jacob & Meagan

My goodness. Jacob was one of a kind. It has taken a while for me to be able to write and share my memories of him because he is such a special being and I never want to diminish the goodness he embodied.

I met Jacob in 2017 when we committed to riding bicycles across the state of Washington to raise money for refugees and asylum seekers. The first thing I noticed was his lovely curls and his big wide smile. He looked people in the eyes, and he wanted to get to know them. Comedically enough, one of our first conversations went something like Jacob: “Meagan! Tell me all about your life!” Meagan: “You just met me, no!” and we both laughed until our bellies hurt. Approximately 5 seconds later, he had my phone and photobombed my album with selfies and of course, I started telling him a bit of my life story.

One distinct memory I have of us on that bike ride is preparing for a century ride (100+ miles biking in one day) waking up from sleeping on the floor of a church multipurpose room at 6 AM for a day in 90+ degree weather. Groggily we all shuffled into the vans and plodded along to our starting point. Sensing the sleepiness and big day ahead, Jacob blasted Lizzo’s “Good As Hell” on the van’s speakers. We all went from sleepy and speaking in monosyllabic responses to passionately dancing and singing together. I said to myself, “This is the kind of friend I want to have in my life”.

Both of us came from Christian backgrounds and bonded over growing up in similar communities, even co-singing some Amy Grant songs together. We both ended up in the PNW to work and help communities in need. I was engaged to my wife at the time and was surprised by his enthusiasm and curiosity about us. He could disarm any guardedness I experienced, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. He felt like someone I could be around and not worry about being judged. I now know that was a gift he embodied so brilliantly.

We grew as friends and bonded over shared hangouts, dance parties, music, and cooking food together. Jacob learned that my wife and I grew up in the south and he and our mutual friend Bill immediately decided to make fried chicken and a full-course meal for us and other friends. It was delicious. His hospitality was rivaled by few, if any.

We were fortunate enough to be alongside Jacob as he met Daniel and they began todate. We all planned a trip to Cannon Beach, Oregon around the 4th of July. It was a beautiful place to explore and it was apparent Jacob and Daniel were falling for each other. Some of my favorite memories there were goofing off with Jacob and Daniel and talking in over-the-top old Southern women’s accents. I think Jacob’s ability to embody joy and subside fear was something that always soothed me. When we played along in those silly voices or searched the coast for sea urchins, it felt like the world was safe to be ourselves. That is something I always remembered about him no matter where I went…his joy and the safety I felt around him.

I want to say much more but I’ve already kept this document open for months, wanting to make sure I captured my friend the best way I can with words. There will never be enough words to fully and deeply share what Jacob means to all of us. Maya Angelou said it best, “people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”. And what I can say without a doubt, is that Jacob helped me feel loved and that I belonged on this Earth just the way I am. And I think that’s the best gift any human could ever offer to someone else. I miss you and love you, my dear friend.

Jacob & Julia B.

Jacob & Kaitlyn H.